Alex Chesbro's Blog

They Don’t Have Any Fucking More | March 27, 2009

This is something out of the ordinary.  Gettin’ arrested at Wal-Mart for dropping the F-bomb.  Look, I know you’re the family-friendly big box store.  I know you only accidentally sold T-shirts with Nazi graffiti  on them.  Whoops. Your bad.  But I swear in the store a ton.  I swear when I walk in.  “Fuck, I’ve got to go to Wal-Mart.”  I swear when I get in there and there’s the population of a small African nation clogging the aisles. “Fuck, look at these people.”  I swear when I’m walking to get whatever I need to get. “Fuck, I’ve gotta walk all the way over there?”  I swear when I finally get it.  “Fuck, is that it?  Why isn’t it cheaper?”  I swear when I get to the (2) open check out counters (out of 296). “Fuck, look at all these people.”  And then I swear when I get to walk out of that hole. “Fuck, I’m glad that’s over.”  So what’s the big deal?

On another note, I like playing the Wal-Mart game.  You can do it with any store, CVS, Walgreens, whatever.  But I think there’s something special about really screwing with the minds of the people working for an American Heartland Pseudo Evangelical Hate Mongering Big Box Store.  Here’s the rules.  Pick the 3 things you would pick to make the check out person stop a little.  Gasp, and maybe even look at you.  I’m going to give 2 options

Option 1)  Vaseline, avocado, fishing line

Option 2) Hand Lotion, Multi Vitamins, Crocs

 

Comments, ho!

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